forhold

Hvorfor du vurderer å slå opp (og hvorfor du kanskje burde la være)

Det er mye som funker mellom dere. Det meste egentlig. Men det er EN ting ved partneren din som irriterer vettet av deg. En skikkelig dealbreaker. En ting som gjør at du nesten vurderer å slå opp.

Stopp en halv. Før du sager av den metaforiske armen partneren din ligger på. Tenk over hva det er du LIKER med partneren din. Sånn topp 3 ting. Tenk videre på hvilket karaktertrekk ved partneren din som gjør at vedkommende gjør de tingene du liker. Stemmer det at det er akkurat det samme karaktertrekket som fører til det du IKKE liker?

Kanskje du liker at partneren din har evnen til å holde hodet kaldt i stressende situasjoner men hater at vedkommende ikke er så flink til å prate om og dele følelser?

Er det en skikkelig turn-on at de er så sykt ambisiøse? Men kjipt at de prioriterer karrieren sin foran alt annet?

Kanskje du liker at partneren din er så tydelig forelska i deg og ekstremt entusiastisk over små ting i hverdagen? Samtidig som du er frustrert over hvor irrasjonell og overfølsom vedkommende er?

Kanskje du digger hvor smart og kunnskapsrik de er, samtidig du irriterer deg over at vedkommende ikke tar hint eller forstår sosiale koder?

Nesten like skadelig som idéen om The One, er idéen om den perfekte partneren. Joda, den perfekte partneren finnes, men det er først etter at du har begynt å se på feilene vedkommende har som bare en litt humoristisk bivirkning av de karaktertrekkene du virkelig digger ved vedkommende. Den perfekte partneren har nemlig like mange feil og karakterbrister som alle andre.

Spørsmålet er ikke om feilene vedkommende har er grunn nok til å slå opp, men om feilene er noe du kan leve med for å kunne være sammen med en person som har akkurat de styrkene vedkommende har.

Det er nemlig nesten alltid skyggesiden av SAMME egenskap vi elsker som vi irriterer oss over. Gresset er ikke nødvendigvis grønnere på andre siden, det smaker bare annerledes.

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